Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Welcome

My one year blog anniversary passed and I didn't even realize it. Last year, I spent the first of August barricaded in my room. The first day of summer vacation I started locking doors--I canceled my cell phone, deactivated my Facebook and killed my old blog. Communication with anyone was kept to a minimum and I happily avoided it whenever I could.
violet skies by Yasmin Veenman
So it was a summer of closed doors and open windows. All summer Jenny Lewis played from the stereos day and night. Time could only be measured by how long it took for the album, Acid Tongue, to play from start to finish. The start of summer was strangled. It was hands clawing at ropes, pulling for loose space, feeling at bruises. Someone had died. I used to be someone. And now my life was a mess, I didn't know who I was and in a few weeks I was going back to school the one place where every day, everyone was telling me who to be.



The last week of July, I stayed up late reading, playing this song on infinite loop. There are some song lyrics that I won't ever forget and this one melted through the surface of my skin and ran through my bloodstream straight to my heart. To who you are and will never be.

Propped against the wall, watching the sun set through the light dancing through the screen of my bedroom window, I wrote my first post. With a few stacks of books, pages of underlined quotes, a folder full of collected photos and a notebook full of cramped writing, I started constructing this blog, blindly placing arranging pieces of myself into blog posts. And when I pull off the blindfold, I can see a mosaic that is sometimes scattered and messy and confusing. And perhaps one day I will understand it all but until then, it will keep me impervious to the crowds and I will continue to share what I have with all of you, people I do not know and have never met, to fellow bloggers who have grown dear and feel like kindred souls. As I Wrote One Day loads on the computer screen and to all of you I say, in the words of Howard Hall, "Whoever you are, however you arrived here, take a step inside."

10 comments:

  1. Happy blogiversary! I'm really happy that we have become friends in the past year and a half. You and Morena were my first bloggy friends. :P But I really feel like you and I have a deep connection because we have a lot in common. And I'm a huge fan of your writing. I'm not just saying that either. You have such incredible talent, it sometimes gives me goosebumps.

    I'm glad you're back in cyber space again. The world needs you! xoxo

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  2. Happy Anniversary, i kinda know the feeling of "I used to be someone." and im kinda still not sure how im meant to be someone else. But im glad you've decided to stay with us, because i love your writing, sometimes it feels like you say the things i cant.

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  3. Thanks for coming back. I really appreciate all you have done for me!

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  4. it's amazing what music can do.
    i'm glad you decide to share your writings/thoughts, i always enjoy reading your entries love.

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  5. This is beautiful, as are all your writings. I'm glad you decided to start this blog because nearly all of your posts speak to me in some way or another and they make me feel like someone else out there feels exactly the way I do.
    (:

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  6. Happy Anniversary =) Im really glad that you have chosen to share your thoughts and incredible writing with us. Your blog is always a pleasure to read.

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  7. I am taking one step inside ; )


    and ur right...its amazing how tiems flies by without us even realizing it..!!

    and trust me..if u read now some of ur old posts u would say:

    WAS THAT ME WRITTING ALL THAT STUFF?!!!!


    CUZ WHEN I READ BACK MY OLD POSTS I AM LIKE NOOO...WHEN DID I FEEL LIKE THIS..HOW SILLY OR OH MY GOD ..I AM GOOOD IN WRITTING :p

    bEST wISHES

    SPRINg BLENd ^__^

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  8. Dearest, this is really quite beautiful. x

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  9. i just adore the way you write, it's so whimiscal and I don't know, I guess it just hits the spot? THat sounds so cheesy.

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  10. I'm so happy you chose to write here, and that we could get to know one another a little, it has been so very nice. xo

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