Saturday, January 22, 2011

I want to believe in everything you believe

I threw up a scream and the sobs came out like someone was kicking a deflating air mattress. The house was silent, you sat in your room reading the newspaper; its gray and black pages flicked through the minutes. I put my ear to the notebook I carried with me everywhere, as if I'd hear my words whispering back to me instead of the dry silence. My thoughts probed me like needles but I couldn't feel them anymore. I was a cloudless sky. Maybe my sanity was waning. Maybe it had visited the shores of my life for a year and then retreated like a wave. Maybe I was stuck, sinking in the wet sand, wondering when it'd be back again. I jumped when you passed my door, steadied my shaking hands as you slid half your body over the threshold. You said you'd say a prayer for me before you went to sleep.


  1. I find that good feelings, bad feelings, all feelings come and go like a wave sometimes. And sometimes, that's the worst part about them.

  2. wow, thats beautifully written
    i hope you feel better, but i dont have any advice
    i dont know...i suppose ive always thought there was a poignant beauty in emotions, even the heartbreaking kind, maybe thats why i dont often give or follow advice.
    people need to learn themselves.
    anyway, this post is sad and vaguely familiar and beautiful
    dont ever stop writing, please.

  3. I don't know what to say. Besides the fact that I read it, and I loved it. You have a way with words.


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