the words come back to me at night when everyone is asleep. when i am lying once again in my kingdom of mutiny. my own disorganization speaks out to me like a mini revolt. if you opened the door, you do not have a voice here screamed out. i was terrified of being silenced, of having someone remove every trance of me, of being wiped clean until i became clear and invisible like glass, until i did not exist at all. my room was my disruption, my heavy metal screaming and i was wildly jumping on the mattress of the Calm and Comfortable, of the Neat and Tidy like a three year old having a tantrum. i will have a voice i will have a voice i will have a voice drowned out every other sound around me. i screamed and screamed and screamed but they took my words anyway.