Sunday, September 27, 2009

Honesty: Take 6

If you asked me but only if you asked me, I would say that I really want to play the guitar.
(via) Tumblr

I'd tell you that I want to sleep in the backseat of a moving car but only if I can keep the windows open. I would say that I want to go canoeing but I don't want any oars and I want to be ok about it. That I want to write song lyrics on post it notes and leave them on car windows because I think that someone's looking for me like I'm looking for them and I want to guide them in the right direction. I want to have a room with floor length white curtains and pale blue walls and hard wood floors and a book that I can read just because. I want to memorize quotes so that I always have something to say because sometimes, someone else has said it better than I ever could. I want to sleep in the afternoons beside warm tea and wake up sometime after midnight when I can't tell the difference between late night and early morning. That I only like the taste of ice cold water after something sweet. How I once poured ice on green August grass and tried to pretend that it was fresh snow but it melted and turned into rain and for some reason that made me want to cry. I would tell you that breathing is only easy when I forget that I'm breathing and it's hard when I have to keep reminding myself that I have to live through the present to get to the future. And that I'm only lonely for 8 hours, 5 days a week but the rest of the time I'm alone and I'm ok.

This is what I would tell you but only if you asked.
But you probably won't.
And I won't ask you anything either and we'll leave it at that-- you'll never know me and I'll never know you. You'll look at me and I will smile because everyone seems to need more smiles these days and then I'll turn my head back towards the window and I'll stay silent and I won't be smiling anymore because yesterday I thought today would be easy but it's not.
It's hard not knowing anyone.

10 comments:

  1. I love this, it's so beautiful and touching and sweet (:

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  2. Gorgeous. And the photo is so lovely with it too. :)

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  3. That is beautiful, it makes me wanna cry, because, well it's not sad but it's not happy. It's just beautiful.

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  4. The words are so true and beautiful.

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  5. fantastically true, I am in love with your blog.
    beautiful photo, it brings me back to the days of my sophomore year in high school when all I would do is look out the window and daydream and then write of all sorts of things.
    -kinsey

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  6. wow, i love this!
    it's so inspirational!

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  7. this is really beautiful
    and i agree, it's hard not knowing anyone

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  8. so beautiful.i love your blog.

    ps. i actually have no idea what the book is called. it's something about some war actually.

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  9. Your words & blog! ... Wonderful!

    Thank yo so much for your visit & for your sweet comment!
    It made my heart pound with happieness!!

    Stina.

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