Monday, September 7, 2009

Honesty: Take 2

I have debates with myself at 3 o' clock in the morning when I can't sleep.
Sometimes I think that it would just be easier to settle with this cup of loneliness instead of venturing that long journey in an attempt to find happiness only to end up with a banquet of sadness and disappointments. 
My mind always concludes the debates:
I'll never be brave enough to try. I'm going to drown here all alone in this cup. 
The discussion is over. 
But my heart wants be brave and wild, wants to know happiness and take chances. 
The truth is, I've chained my heart to an anchor of pain and heartbreaks that have infiltrated my past and I don't know how to free it. 


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5 comments:

  1. Honestly,
    I have the same problem.

    If you find a solution, let me know.

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  2. There must be something or someone better and more beautiful than our wildest imagination. Surely we have not been placed on this planet to have our hearts broken by elusive dreams and pain, self and others, inflicted. There must be an excellent reason for the hope and desire in our hearts. Thus the search. Don't give up.

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  3. my naive past haunts me when i close my eyes. the flashbacks come, and as hard as i try to block the series of images from my mind, i wonder if i really want to forget these things, just erase them. but then all the best moments of my life play, results of those blows to my confidence. and i think would it be worth it? will i ever know?

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  4. firstly, in response to what you said on my blog dear, time must be the strangest thing in the world, really. it's so strange, so absolutely incomprehensible for your little minds.

    and oh, i can relate to what you said here. somehow it seems that i can always relate to what you write. i also, very often, follow my pain. i drown in melancholy and heartache. i think that's good sometimes. i believe we just learn things in time, and everyday we are different persons, and one day, without planning it, everything changes. and it might be to something good, just believe it.

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  5. Well opening yourself to new possibilities might lead to heartbreak, but isn't the beauty in the journey and not in the destination? That old famous quote of "There is no path to happiness, happiness is the path?" or something similar...
    It is true. Our happiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life then on the nature of those events.

    ReplyDelete